…Scream in the Middle of a Movie

So, Scream‘s out and… wait, you screamed in that movie?

Are you serious? You’re shameful! I’m glad I didn’t have to share the theater with you. That must have been disturbingly horrifying!

Now, let’s pick a more screamworthy film. But before that, let’s make this one point clear: Scream is not screamworthy.

Alright, so you and your friends decide to watch The Grudge (I’m the author of this post, so by my standards, that film is scary and screamworthy – no complaints, stick with it).

You protest against the chosen film because you’re weak, but because your friends are nice enough to offer you a reason to get your next heart attack and because you’re a sucker for horror films, you accede.

You guys head to the cinemas, bought yourselves tickets, and went in the theater with your ever-reliable movie buddy, Mr. Popcorn, in hand. Isn’t throwing that bag of popcorn always a stress reliever in moments of suspense, like when that bogeyman comes out of that kid’s closet?

No?

What’s that? You don’t believe in Mr. Bogeyman? Seriously, what planet are you from?

It’s fun throwing popcorn when something exciting pops out during a movie! That’s a fact! Oh, and especially if the person in front of you suddenly has yellow hair all over his head! Ha!

No, seriously, don’t do that. It’s a mean thing to do. I don’t want you to get into trouble, and I don’t want a man to come out with greasy hair and a red face – you’re a terrible person. But more importantly, I don’t want to see you come out with a black eye. Aww… See? I’m really a nice person.

So, the movie starts to roll. You’re enjoying the first few scenes, popping popcorn in your mouth and sipping some iced tea afterwards, then Kayako and her big ball of hair surprises you!

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! (in a shrieking voice)

What the? – everybody in the theater

*you threw your popcorn*

What the? – man sitting in front of you

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!

What the hell is up with whoever that is? I wanna punch him/her! – moviegoers searching the theater for the scream queen (read: YOU)

Oops!

Thank you for summing up everybody’s emotions back there. But, thank you also for ruining everybody’s horror experience with your screamfest!

Careful – one more shriek, and they’ll catch you with your mouth open and your feet up on your seat in a crouching position. You don’t want to be stared at with those fiery, rage-filled eyes.

But, you can’t help it.

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Louder and pitchier this time.

They all stare at you with fists floating in their thought bubbles.

Oops! That was embarrassing!

Come on, The Grudge is that scary! Why isn’t anybody screaming? - you

Somehow, those angry stares and meeting eyebrows tell me that there’s something more you should be more scared of than Kayako and Toshio.

But, that’s life: we learn from shame!

Have you ever screamed inside a theater? How do you feel when you hear someone screaming in the middle of a film? Share your stories/emotions in thecomments section.

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…Wear Your Shirt Inside Out!

Or frontside back!

Don’t laugh. This really happens! And whether you admit or not, you might have probably experienced this yourself once upon a rushed day. Ha! Gotcha!

Well, fine, congratulations to you if you haven’t had this (fun) experience yet. Your mind’s probably not as messed up as mine. But, mind you, this doesn’t happen to me THAT often, which means you probably won’t catch me in a shirt with its logo hanging out 40% of the time. Boo!

Wait, did I say 40%? Oops! You did not just read that.

Crazy as it sounds, wearing a shirt inside out is pretty much normal when you’re undecided with what you’d like to wear for the day and at the same time, you’re rushing because you’re only 30 minutes away from being late (and you still need to catch the bus five blocks away). You hurriedly grab a nice-looking shirt, wear it, and decide against it. You take it off, wear something else, and then decide that the first shirt looked so much better on you.

Crap, why can’t I make up my mind in one shot?

You grab the first shirt, and without noticing that you haven’t turned it back to its “normal look” (that is not inside out), you just put it over your head, pull it down, grab your keys, and rush towards the door. You’re lucky if you get to notice the fact that you have worn your shirt inside out as you pass by the mirror on your way out – you still have time to do a remedy. But if you did not notice it? Well, good luck!

Don’t expect strangers you meet on the street or on the bus to greet you with their normal straight faces (or smiles) though. Instead, be prepared to be greeted with raising eyebrows and questioning looks that somehow say:

What on earth? Did you just get out of bed and throw that shirt on yourself without checking in the mirror to see if you look decent enough to exit your house? Damnit! WHO ARE YOU?

Ooh, harsh! Well, at least they don’t say their thoughts out loud – whew! You can pretend to ignore them despite the fact that you know how embarrassing it is to be right there at that moment wearing a shirt that’s inside out. Everybody’s staring at you!

Whoops! What a shame!

Well, it’s not as if you can just take off your shirt right there and then and wear it the right way. That’s even more shameful! Someone might even catch you on tape! Yikes!

However, what’s even worse is if you don’t know that you have worn your shirt inside out (which is almost always the case)! Imagine yourself getting out of your house, walking in large strides to the nearest bus stop, climbing the bus while panting, and wondering why everyone’s gaze seems to stop and follow you as you find a spot to stand on as the bus heads towards your destination. Well, I guess you might be too tired to notice all the raised eyebrows back there, and you’re probably feeling all too lucky that you got to where you need to be on time. Yay for you!

Well, not until your friend comes up to you and burst out laughing.

Why are you laughing? What’s so funny? You’re weird!

Is he? Or, are you?

Looks like you’re about to find out.

I’m weird? You’re the one wearing your shirt inside out, and I’m weird? Okay…

Oh! Oops! Just flash a smile and rush to the washroom. You don’t want more of your friends to see how you dressed today. Not that it matters though because I’m pretty sure your friend back there is about to send off a tweet or a Facebook status saying that you wore your shirt inside out today as you change.

But that’s life: we learn from shame.

What will you do if you suddenly realized that you are wearing your shirt inside out while on a subway? How will you hide your unfortunate event? Share your thoughts in the comments section!

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…Call Someone By Another Name!

Long blonde hair. Dark brown eyes. Fair-skinned girl. Looks really familiar?

Well, you’re pretty sure your friend introduced you two at least once at some bar, but for some reason, you just can’t remember her name (go ahead, blame it on the vodka). And worse, she’s approaching you right at this very moment with a sweet smile on her face. Looks like she remembered you – yay!

Quick, shuffle through your memory files and retrieve that name that goes with that face!

Is it Sarah? Gina? Natalie? Emma? Crap, no, those are the names of my co-workers. Who is this girl?

And then she finally reaches you and says hi followed by your name (take note, with the correct pronunciation – yeah, shame on you for forgetting her name). You panic, and you managed to utter something like…

“Hi Karen! How’s it going?”

Nice try, but…

“Actually, it’s Carrie. We met at the Opium Bar last week when our friend, Amanda, introduced us, remember?”

Of course you remembered… that’s why you called her by the wrong name! But not bad, you almost got it – congratulations! Though, that doesn’t change the fact that after your little mistake, she is staring at you, and you’re staring back with a forced smile.

Awkward.

Whoops!

Looks like somebody needs to practice matching names with faces more (and in a more sober environment too). You don’t wanna end up calling some Zac, James. Or worse, you don’t wanna end up calling that Carrie, Zoey, the next time you meet her.

But that’s life: we learn from shame.

Have you ever called someone by another name? How did that make you feel? Sound off in the comments section.

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…Hit Your Head on the Glass Door of a Restaurant!

Will you be interested to enter a creepy-looking urban eatery with spider webs hanging from the corners of the walls and skulls as decorations? Nope? I didn’t think so either.

How about a restaurant that has wooden stools, badly-constructed tables that look like they are about to collapse anytime during your meal, and cracked walls to keep you company during your lunch? Are you grumbling because you’re hungry or because you’re starting to lose your appetite and are about to walk out? Sounds like the latter, huh?

It is because customers are looking for clean and sleek ambiances that many restaurants are going for modern and/or sophisticated designs. Think soft cushioned sofa-like seats, marble tables, monochromatic walls splattered with abstract paintings, and of course, glass doors.

Yes, glass doors are beautiful. Yes, glass doors make the restaurant look clean, brighter, and very modern. And yes, glass doors can be annoying – and yes, you heard me right.

Just imagine you taking your change from your paid bill and then standing up to leave the newly-opened French restaurant, satisfied and happy with the service and the food. You walk past the other diners with much poise or suave and with a big smile on your face as the waiters and/or waitresses greet you a “Merci monsieur/mademoiselle” on your way to the door. Then *BOOGSH*!

Ow, my head! What was that?

It’s the door, dear. Looks like the glass was a little too transparent that you probably thought that walking straight out leads you directly to the sidewalk. Uh, unfortunately, that is not the case. There is that door that you needed to open first and you forgot. Ouch!

Ugh, stupid door! Who invented that anyway? 

Alright, now that there’s a red spot (or baby bump) on your forehead, it would be smart enough not to turn around. I wouldn’t if I were you. I’m hearing giggles and gasps behind you so better not show your face anymore in order to save a little bit of your dignity.

Just pull/push that door and slowly walk out… and quickly run out of all the diners’ sight. Man, that was embarrassing! Just keep your fingers crossed that nobody took a video or a photo of that. Or else…

Hey man, I saw this video on Youtube where this guy hit his head on the glass door of that French restaurant across the street. It was hilarious! Now that I think about it, the guy’s back kinda looked like yours. Wait, was that YOU?

Whoops!

Now, who would be so evil to take that video?

I don’t know. Maybe some dude with a camera phone at hand enjoying your embarrassing moment?

Ouch, yes?

Aw, come on. Don’t frown now. It was funny, admit it. Just be careful the next time you visit that restaurant or some other restaurants that have glass doors. You don’t want to get a second funny video of yours circulating around the internet, do you?

But that’s life: we learn from shame.

Have you ever bumped your head into anything in a public place? How did that experience go for you? Sound off in the comments section.

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…Throw Up On Your Boss!

Hey Brittany-not-from-Glee, do we blame that on the alcohol too? Alright, alright, don’t throw up on me now. Have mercy on your computer screens.

Oops! Sorry Rachel... you look disgusting though.

May it be a guys’ night out, girls’ night out, a simple karaoke getaway with your colleagues from office, or whatever celebration there is, the booze is almost always part of the party! Whether you’re burning your throat with shots of vodka or chugging down bottles of beer while dancing and screaming at the club, you know your night is headed to some helluva crazy trip.

Well, good for you if all you’ve got to deal with at 6am is a simple headache. But, not everybody is as lucky. Think young girls who got pregnant after a friend’s party (one night stands) or those who got into accidents because of drunk driving. You know, those good times gone wrong.

But, hey, it’s worse when you wake up to a heavy hangover and totally forgetting everything that happened the night before. You’re up for some trouble, and you don’t know where that came from.

Oh, remember that guy? You threw up on him last night after you drank ten shots of tequila. And oh by the way, he’s also your boss.

Whoops! Embarrassing (and ewww…)!

Wondered what his face looked like when you sputtered all over his face and his new tie. I bet it was priceless! But, your job is also about to get price-less. Literally. Looks like your boss is not too happy with your gifts of spit, phlegm, and digested alcohol with food. Eww… gross! Why did I just say that?

Anyway… looks like you’re not just cleaning the disgusting stains off your shirt; you’re also cleaning up your table in the office cubicle. Ooh… ouch! Not such a fun night after all, huh?

But that’s life: we learn from shame.

Have you ever thrown up on someone because you’re too drunk? Tell me what happened in the comments section below.

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…Check Yourself Out in Front of a Car Mirror with Someone Inside!

Come on, let’s admit it – we all like to be vain. It flatters us the most when we see how nice we look in front of a mirror, but we seem to develop a favorite habit of checking ourselves out when we pass by a parked car, especially when it has tinted windows. Am I right, or am I right? Am I seeing some guilty hands raising up over there? Gotcha!

Don’t worry. You’re not alone. Guilty as charged here as well.

Not that being vain is wrong (so okay, maybe it is a little wrong) but when someone else, especially a stranger, is witnessing your vainness through a tinted glass and is smiling as if he/she were watching a prank show from the other side, something tells me your appreciation of your beauty is not the most flattering. On the contrary, it’s as embarrassing as if you were checking your teeth in front of that car window. Now, don’t even get me started on that one (seriously, some people do that and it’s absolutely not fun to be on the other end; it’s disgusting, people, so really, stop checking your teeth in front of car windows).

Just imagine you fixing your hair and smiling and posing in front of the car window of a parked and seemingly empty vehicle on your way to your next destination – probably some bar or club or a friend’s party – and you’re feeling oh so pretty or oh so buff. So enthusiastic and happy over your enjoyment of the scenery, I mean, reflection of your beauty, aren’t you? Well, guess what? Somebody else might be enjoying it with you on the other side of that window without you knowing, or they’ll probably let you know how you’ve been acting ridiculously vain by rolling down the window and giving you a (mocking) smile.

“Hey! Looking good! Where are we headed to tonight?” *devious smile*

Whoops!

Looks like the car isn’t empty after all. At least you thought it was.

Yikes! Embarrassing!

And you slowly walk away from the car and off to anywhere but near that car, hoping you never get to see the other person ever again. Well, unless you want to commit social suicide, you might as well pray you never bump into that stranger again for the rest of your life.

But that’s life: we learn from shame.

Have you ever had this experience? If you did, what did you do when you figured someone was inside? And if you haven’t, what will you do? Share your experiences in the comments section. Would love to hear them!

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…Give Your Special Someone a Gift She is Allergic To!

Well, so much for your perfect Valentine’s Day plan this year! Looks like someone missed out on the ‘pay special attention to what your special someone hates and is allergic to’ class. Guess what? You’re totally paying for that absence by ruining the date you had perfectly planned out in your head.

You almost got the day right, really. You almost nailed V-day, except for that tiny detail you forgot. Funny how a small thing like that could ruin everything else.

I mean, her favorite flowers? Check. A box of her favorite brand of chocolates? Check. A reservation in a fancy restaurant of her favorite cuisine or just a home-cooked meal you prepared for her? Check. Her beautifully wrapped Valentine’s Day gift? Check. But, when she opens it, her face spells ‘horror’.

“Uh, dear, a stuffed toy? I’m allergic to stuffed animals. I’m asthmatic, remember?”

Achoo!

Whoops! That was not part of the plan. What should I do now?! Oh noes!

Bingo! You just got her to do that really cute sneeze, except this time, she figured out you didn’t notice what she was allergic to all this time. That doesn’t sound too Valentine’s-y or sweet. Think quick! What’s your plan B? How are you gonna make up for that screw up? Hug her? Cook more food? Sing her a romantic song? You better get it right this time! No one wants to screw up a second time. Remember, relationship’s on the line. Good luck!

Alright guys, Lady Gaga got herself an egg for the Grammy’s, and you better get your special someones the right gift. Happy heart’s day everyone! Don’t forget to share the love and get a gift which she is not allergic to (or she does not hate). Else, it’ll be so embarrassing you wouldn’t want to show your face after she sneezes on your face.

But, that’s life: we learn from shame.

Ever received a Valentine’s gift you totally hated? Any memorable Valentine’s date? Share your stories in the comments section.

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…Accept/Reject Your Mom’s Friend Request on Facebook!

Ohhh… momma dear wouldn’t like to be rejected, especially when she’s planning on expanding her social networks in order to get more girls’ night out and when she’s getting the hang of being your ‘hip’ mother. As her kid, you are supposed to be supportive of her joining the famous social networking site by welcoming her with an ‘accept’ response to her friend request. You are supposed to be her first friend on Facebook no matter how weird that sounds.

So, rejecting her friend request? Doesn’t sound like such a good idea as she might be brokenhearted that her own son/daughter won’t even be her friend. She might even go around and tell her friends and your relatives on how you hurt her on Facebook and how you were ashamed of her. Looks like you’re not gonna be getting good impressions from your own family for a while now. Talk about family grudge and a shameful face to show in the next family reunion.

Whoops! Looks like you shouldn’t have rejected her friend request in the first place.

Although, yes, it should be awkward for you (and your mom) to be seeing each other’s statuses every now and then when you add her as your ‘friend’. Even more so if she leaves a comment on your post or actually ‘like’ it. Good thing there’s no ‘unlike’ button (aside from unliking the ‘like’) around yet. And you know what else is awkward? When your mom and your friends comment on one another’s photos and statuses. Next thing you know, your mom’s invited to your best friend’s party, and she’s dancing next to you and she tells you, “Hey, I like your friends! They’re really cool! Maybe I should hang out with them more!”. Alright, what the hell is going on? What is going on is that your mom is now part of your social circle because of Facebook. You guys now have 300 mutual friends. Looks like your childhood tantrum stories and embarrassing moments are about to make the headlines. Talk about shame!

“Oh mother! You shouldn’t have told that story; that was supposed to be a family secret!”

Whoops! Looks like you shouldn’t have added her in the first place, huh?

Not that you can remove her as a friend now or write a status that says ‘I wish I didn’t add my mom on Facebook’ because that’s just gonna break her heart. You wouldn’t want that to happen either, would you?

Accept or reject her friend request – either way, you’re gonna get your piece of shame. Good thing my mom’s not on Facebook or anywhere near any social networking site, so I don’t have to deal with such a hard decision whether to add her or not. As for those who have mommy friend requests, looks like all I’ve got to say is whatever you decide, good luck and oops, you did not just accept or reject your mom’s friend request on Facebook! Some shameful stories are on the way, so brace yourself!

But that’s life: we learn from shame. (Lesson: make yourself unsearchable once you know your mom’s (or dad) planning to join Facebook.)

What if your mom is on Facebook – will you accept or reject her friend request? Share your thoughts in the comments section.

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…Tap the Wrong Person on the Shoulder!

Too excited to greet your friend? Can’t wait to say hi? Well, better hold your horses, amigo (at least until he/she turns around and calls your name), because getting too excited is not always that rewarding.

Just because they sport the same hairstyle, have the same height, and dress (almost) the same way doesn’t mean the person you see is your friend because trust me, your friend can look like a lot of people, especially from the back (even from the front too – think Lucy Hale and Selena Gomez). I’ve been there, mistaking some random gal for my girl pal, and that encounter was nowhere near exciting. In fact, it was kinda embarrassing.

Okay, it was really, really embarrassing.

Imagine you getting all jittery with a wide grin on your face because you saw your “friend” across the hall, then you run over and give him/her a tap on the shoulder with an expected response of “hi!”. He/she turns around, and you find yourself staring at the strange face in front of you while at the back of your mind, you’re saying, “Okay… I have never seen this person before… oh crap! Who is this person?”

Whoops! Wrong guy/gal!

One, two, three seconds of awkward silence, and then you just utter a soft “sorry, I thought you were (insert friend’s name here)” before walking away as fast as you can, wishing you would never get to meet that person again because that’ll be just plain embarrassing. Imagine meeting that person again in some random party, and he/she tells you, “Hey, weren’t you the one who tapped me on the shoulder one time ‘coz you thought I was your friend? That was you, wasn’t it?” Just imagine the shame!

Well, that’s life: we learn from shame. :>

Have you ever mistaken someone for someone else? Share your story in the comments section below.

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…Slip in Front of a Bunch of Strangers!

You were walking along just fine – outside your house, along the pedestrian street, across the bridge, down the stairs in a subway station – but you just had to slip… and it just had to be in front of a bunch of complete strangers. Oops!

Pairs of strange eyes all around you, staring at you with a thought bubble that says, “clumsy much?” So, they will probably first stare at you or gasp or make a slight scream (just to attract more eyes to look towards your direction) at your terribly painful slip, and then either they will curve their lips a bit to smile at your carelessness (or at your unfortunate fall) – without looking obvious of course – or they will rush to your side and lend you a helping hand (which is nicer). Either those or they’ll just completely ignore you as if they heard and saw nothing.

Hum, hum, hum.

“Oh, and here comes the train! Sorry, poor thing, but I don’t want to be late for work. Good luck with trying to make it on time to wherever you’re headed!”

Ohhh…. you did not just witness that kind of attitude. And that train did not just leave you while you were agonizing over your sprained ankle.

The shame, the pain, and the possibility of being late for work (or school) – that slip really cost ya.

Whoops!

Careful next time, so you don’t have to say, “Oops! I did not just slip in front of a bunch of strangers!” But, right now, reality check: you just did.

Well, that’s life: we learn from shame. :>

Got a slip story? Share it in the comments section below.

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